Monday to Saturday - 8:00 -17:30
We rarely ramble for lack of ideas. More likely, it’s because we have a flood of them coming to mind all at once, and not yet a way to get them into words that makes sense. As we attempt to sort them out as we go, our thoughts spill forth, and by the middle of the sentence, we’ve already forgotten what the beginning was trying to say. This can become a cycle that seems almost impossible for new speakers to break: the more they keep trying to explain, the worse their explanation becomes. Learning to close the sentence you are speaking isn’t necessarily learning to talk less, but learning to give shape and direction to whatever it is you’re saying so it doesn’t pile onto itself.
One good approach to begin with is to consider what the end of the response will be before even speaking. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just clear enough for a first step. For example, in explaining an untimeliness, you can close by saying “so the change in schedule occurred due to that update.” If you know where the conclusion will be, the beginning and middle become a lot easier to guide. You won’t have to go searching for it as you are already speaking but rather, you can keep it in mind as a point to move toward. Thus, rambling naturally lessens.
It’s not uncommon to keep adding on more information than necessary in an attempt to avoid being misunderstood. But this can actually be counterproductive, as the listener is left to sort out the information and the point becomes lost. It may help to separate the explanation out instead. For example, make the initial statement or thought in one sentence, pause, and then give any extra detail or example if required. We can also make the sentence to be less confusing and easier to follow by not restarting it in the middle. It is better to keep running with the initial thought but correct it in the next sentence if possible. This way, we allow ourselves a bit of freedom to make mistakes without feeling the pressure to fix it all right away.
When we find ourselves lost in thought mid-sentence, we can also use a transition sentence to bring our focus back and end the statement. “The thing we need to be thinking about is…” or “Basically, what I’m trying to say here is…” can both be effective. They will help us get to a conclusion without feeling abrupt or out of the blue, which is particularly helpful when our anxiety pushes us to want to keep saying something. They will allow us to come back in without having to shut down completely. As the sentences naturally start to improve over time, we won’t have to use the transition sentence as much but it is a great tool to get started on when we are having a difficult time thinking of how to end what we are saying.
For about 15 minutes, we can work on being more mindful of how we end our statements. For the first 5 minutes, we can speak responses to questions for a few minutes, but ensure that we end our answers by stating something that clearly finishes the sentence. For the second 5 minutes, we can play one of the responses back to ourselves and look for points that we could have said differently, that we could have ended the statement with rather than continuing on. In the third 5 minutes, we can go again on the questions, but only give a response that is 2 or 3 sentences, so that we are only allowed to give 1 or 2 thoughts per response. On some days, we might choose to work on this while we are having a conversation or in situations that would allow us to give a similar response to those in our practice.
Over time, as we begin to find success with being able to finish the statements we are making, our conversations will become less rambling and less cluttered by extra words. We will begin to pause naturally without feeling like it is an awkward silence. While our sentences and statements may still feel like they are going on a little too long or that we may have lost sight of our point, we will be able to notice this and stop ourselves from saying it. By making this a practice, we may begin to find that our communication is stronger and that our statements are easier to follow. It will help to make the process feel more manageable and less overwhelming.